Supplier feature - Hanieh Chehrehnegari - Speakers Key - Tips on Planning your Wedding Speech

“Tips on Planning your Wedding Speech”

Hanieh Chehrehnegari – SpeakersKey Ltd

We are delighted to welcome Hanieh to our blog to give some words of wisdom on making that all important wedding speech.  Hanieh is the founder of SpeakersKey and as a former TV presenter and reporter she is experienced in public speaking herself and established her business to help people combat nerves and fears with delivery their own speeches in life and a large part of this is of course wedding speeches.  Here Hanieh gives us an insight into how the skills of her and her business can help grooms, best men fathers of the bride and even the bride herself! 

Hanieh Chehrehnegari

Traditionally, it has always been the best man and the father of the bride who are responsible for delivering that all important speech at weddings. Recently, however, a number of couples choose to defy this convention and call upon the services of a number of people to raise a toast at their wedding, such as the Maid of Honor.  I’ve had the pleasure of being invited to a number of weddings over the years and with those come the speeches and for the most part these have run smoothly with little or no awkward moments at all however I have also witnessed the most uncomfortable, cringe worthy toasts followed by a stunned silence and shock from either the bride, the groom or the entire audience. Being given the honor of delivering a speech should fill you with excitement and good planning, content and delivery should leave the audience with a fond and memorable speech. For some, however, this responsibility is often met with nerves, fear and sleepless nights! In this article, I will be looking at 3 tips in planning and delivering your perfect wedding day speech.

1.   Over the years research has shown that the thought of Public Speaking is met with fear and that the only fear that was ranked higher than this was in fact death! But Why? What causes so many of us to have this fear? The important fact to understand is that if planned well, content good and delivery practised; there is no need to be nervous. Research has also shown that much fear arises from simply the potential for error and perception, what will people think; will my joke be funny? What if I forget my lines? Rather than the positive aspects like giving a meaningful speech and wishing the newlyweds a great life together, full of joy and happiness and perhaps having the audience appreciating a particular story along the way. If you have been given this responsibility and are feeling anxious at the thought of it, then start to focus more on what will go right rather than what could go wrong. Remember, positive thoughts breed positive actions!

2.  The minute you are asked to speak should be when you start to research and plan your speech. Planning and practising ahead will help you overcome any teething problems. Use this time to research the content of your speech – What are you going to talk about? What stories do you want to mention? Will you be sharing a joke or two? How long do you have on stage? These are the key questions that you should be asking yourself or others.  You should also speak to the bride and/or groom and ask them whether there are any specifics that they’d like you to mention and conversely any subjects that you should steer well clear of. You must be careful, tactful and know your limits - discussing the brides intimate history in front of her in laws is not a good idea! Ask friends and family for any inspiring stories, anecdotes or fond memories that they have of the happy couple.

3.   Once you’ve done your research, start writing - this should always be done so that you can actually refer to the speech and make changes as opposed to just “winging it” and hoping that you’ll remember everything. Remember delivery is just as important as the content itself so practice delivery to anyone and everyone - the wider the audience the better as you’ll be able to gauge the reaction from a variety of people and this ensures that your speech will be well received by the entire audience and not just a subset. Does it sound good? Was I clear during delivery? Is there anything that needs to be added or removed? Is the timing right? Now is the time to edit and once you are satisfied with the final draft, practise some more! Additionally practising the speech in a similar environment to the actual venue is also a great idea as you’ll get a feel for the acoustics and it’ll give you a chance to wear your outfit to really get a feel of what it’ll be like on the day!

4.  Finally and most importantly, enjoy the speech! You have been chosen to speak for a reason – you’re obviously very special to the bride and groom to be privileged with this responsibility, they want to see you do well as does the entire room so have a laugh or two.

Below I’ve listed some additional points to ensure the smooth running prior to your speech so take it upon yourself to certify the following;

  -        Does your speech contain a thank you to all guests that have attended? (I once travelled half way across the world to attend a wedding of a very special friend as did a few of the other guests, and we received no mention whilst all the others did!) Remember to acknowledge people.

-          Does the microphone work (if there is one)?

-          Know your audience; are you toasting the right people? i.e. Father of the Bridge toasting the Bride & Groom at the end.

-          Don’t think that alcohol will help you get through the speech – it is not required. Treat yourself after the  speech!

-          Are your jokes appropriate and non offensives to all?

-          Cue cards often make the speech more structured and well paced so should always be considered. 

-          Smile! Enjoy yourself – you really could add more joy on the wonderful day by smiling!

Hanieh Chehrehnegari

SpeakersKey Limited 2011

SpeakersKey is a training and development company specialising in public speaking, confidence building and workshop design.  They can provide tailored programmes across the country and online training.  If you wish to discuss requirements for training for your own wedding or speech please contact Hanieh for more information

Wedding of Clare and Michael at The Italian Villa

A few months ago we were delighted to be recommended to help Clare and Michael with the final few months of their wedding preparations for their July wedding in 2011.  When we came on board they had already selected their venue and most of their suppliers and they wanted our help to assist with some final suppliers and some details and to co-ordinate the logistics for the day in advance and be there on the day to help dress and finish the venue, co-ordinate all of the suppliers and to deal with any trouble shooting.  So - that's what we did!

This wedding was a real pleasure to work with and we had quite a few "curve balls" as the bride put it after the wedding - but that's all part of what we are here for!  We wanted to share with you just some of our favourite images from the day with the kind permission of the wonderful Ian Hamilton of IanH Photography who originally recommended our services to the bride and groom - so thank you Ian in more ways than one!

The day started for me with some early morning calls from the bride to sort out some last minute errands followed by a visit to the venue, the beautiful Italian Villa at Compton Acres Poole where we met with some of the suppliers who then set about putting together the stunning Medici Suite which would await Clare and Michael and their guests after their late afternoon Church service.  The room was transformed with crisp white chair covers and tartan chair bows which were chosen by the bride's mother and attended to beautifully by mother and daughter team Sandy and Debbie from The Card and Favour Company.  We were asked by the bride to assist last minute with some reception stationery requirements and we were pleased to recommend the services of Emma Farwell Designs who we work with regularly.  Emma made the beautiful table plan and table name cards, which were all named after castles, at very short notice and did a superb job and they really helped to finish the tables.  I then went to the house to assist the Bride with some last minute adjustments to her stunning Suzanne Neville dress and make sure that the girls were all well watered with bubbly before they left for the ceremony - always such an important task!

Over at the Church of the Sacred Heart Richmond Hill Bournemouth I met with the groomsmen to help with the final touches - buttonholes and final minor adjustments plus some discussions with the Father in advance of the start of the ceremony.  This ceremony was usual as a Registrar was also required for this service but was cutting it a little fine following a delay with the previous wedding so a little chasing was required!  

The Church looked beautiful - awaiting the bridal party and their guests

Although it looks like it - I don't think I was being told off by Father...

Before the ceremony whilst the guests were eagerly assembling for the service and again after the ceremony as the bride and groom departed in their beautiful vintage Rolls- Royce family friends greeted the guested in true Scottish style with the bagpipes which helped to make this even more of a grand occasion.  Well done guys - you did a grand job!  You were to be heard all around Bournemouth Town! 

The guests were gently ushered into taxis outside the Church following a slight issue with a broken down coach but the bride and groom were none the wiser (well for a while anyway!) and everyone then made their way over to The Italian Villa for to have a leisurely mingle in the Italian gardens with plenty of pink Lanson and delicious canapes courtesy of Beales Gourmet - the resident caterers.  

Stunning floral displays where the ever superb work of Helen of Flowers by Helen Ffoulkes-Jones 

After enjoying the sweet music of a string quartet in the Gardens and lots of chat and congratulations for the bride and groom guests were greeted into the Villa where a feast awaited them.  Guests dined on layers of vine-ripened tomatoes, buffalo milk mozzarella and avocado with basil oil followed by seared breast of corn fed chicken with pancetta and lemon and lime cheesecake.  Yum!  Speaking to the guests after the wedding breakfast we were told of so many compliments for the food and the service for this very special wedding with such a wonderful family. 

The groom the other speakers of the day were keen to start their speeches pre-wedding breakfast so this was the order of the day and I have to say these speeches were some of the best wedding speeches I have ever heard - and I have heard a lot of wedding speeches!  They were filled with humour and sentiment and emotion and there genuinely was not a dry eye in the house from the guests and the staff on duty!  

Clare and Michael enjoying the speeches 

The cake was a delicious champagne and strawberry delight with a beautiful topper which was such a likeness of Clare and Michael!  Bringing out their fun side and gracing the creation by the wonderful Lisa Notley

Clare and Michael

Guests completed the night with a traditional Caleigh band and danced the night away.  This was a wedding which was an absolute pleasure to help with.  It was full of lovely guests, family and most of all such a wonderful bride and groom.  There were things which needed to be resolved last minute but it was a pleasure to do and it meant that Clare and Michael had some unusual twists which made it all the more enjoyable!  The Best Mens' speech was conducted standing rather than seated and we moved all the guests to another part of the Villa for a slideshow of hilarious images.  The kilts and the bagpipes added to the real Scottish feel of the day and we used different styles of music through the drinks reception in the gardens and then piano during the wedding breakfast with popular songs to please the Scottish and Irish guests.  

Thank you Clare and Michael for choosing us to help with your day.  Huge congratulations to you both.

xx

Testimonial we received from Clare and Michael after the wedding:

"Dear Melanie.  Thank you so much for all your efforts for our wedding.  You were amazing!  We did our best to try to thrown you a few curve balls…the coach breaking down, the wrong colour flowers, drinking too much champagne but you handled them so calmly and quietly and with excellent results.  You truly where instrumental in making our day so wonderful we really cannot thank you enough or recommend you more highly.  Lots of Love Clare and Michael"

If you would like more information about our wedding planning services please take a look at our website. and call or email us to let us know about your requirements.  

The importance of a wedding rehearsal

Having attended another wedding rehearsal yesterday for one of our couples who are getting married this month it got me thinking that a little blog on the subject could be helpful for couples when thinking about their own ceremonies.  Should you have a wedding rehearsal?  Well in our opinion - yes you should and you should use it as an opportunity to do several things before your wedding day:

Image credit - Practically Ever After

 - Get comfortable.  You won't be walking down an aisle every day (one hopes!) so its not something that people are generally familiar with and having the opportunity to go over the entrance and the walk and who is where and who stands on which sides etc. is a great ice breaker so that you feel a little more comfortable about the day itself.  The emotion or nerves will usually get you on the day itself so its good to have had a little run through of this before the day.  Think about bridesmaids in front or behind the bride and where the position any little ones in the procession.  Personally I think it works best with bridesmaids to the front of the bride so that the bride makes her entrance last - make sure there is sufficient gap though between the bridesmaids and the bride so that the photographer can get a clear shot of the bride walking in.  The only time you may want to consider having 1 or 2 bridesmaids behind the bride is if her dress/train may need fixing as she walks down the aisle.  With the little ones it works well having them in front with older bridesmaids behind to nudge and guide them if they need it! 

 - Allow your bridal party to get familiar with what their duties are.  Your Vicar or Priest (or civil ceremony venue) will run through where all of your bridal party fit into the day itself and what is expected of them so they know a little more about where they should be and what they should be doing - if they turn up on the day without any rehearsal yes of course you and your day will survive but your wedding party will be a little "blind" on what they are meant to be doing! 

 - Allows you to try music (depending on your ceremony venue) and agree the volumes and test your processional and recessional songs to ensure that they are the right length and you know when during the song the bridesmaids and most importantly the bride should begin her walk down the aisle.  I don't think that Kate Middleton would have attempted her wedding without having a little "go" at her mammoth walk down that stunning aisle and it should not be any different for any other bride! 

 - You will get a chance to read some of your vows to each other which should help to combat some nerves on the day and also to check your own volume for the ceremony - you do want everyone to be able to hear you! 

 - Get people who are conducting readings for you to come along and have a practice.  They may not be used to public speaking or may not be used to standing at the front of a Church and speaking into a microphone so again its a good chance for them to see what it will sound like and how to conduct their voices. 

 - Try to get all of your main bridal party at the rehearsal if possible - its not always possible because of distances to travel and work etc but if you can have the following people there: Bride and Groom (of course!) both sets of parents, person giving away the bride if different, best man (men), all the bridesmaids, all the ushers and anyone doing a reading or singing or any other kind of performance during the ceremony.  Even the little members of the bridal party ie flower girls and page boys as it will really make it clear to them what they will be doing on the day and most little ones will take it in and it will make them more excited and less nervous about it all too. 

 - Try to have your Order of Service printed and take at least one copy with you to the rehearsal so that the person conducting your ceremony can have a copy in advance and you can run through it with him/her at that time.  Make sure you then arrange to get the Orders of Service to the Church in good time for the wedding day itself so that your Ushers can distribute them on the day. 

 - If you have a wedding planner or have a wedding co-ordinator for your day then your co-ordinator should come along to your rehearsal too as it is a good opportunity for your bridal party to meet the planner/co-ordinator and for her/him to go through some plans for the day and then on the day your planner will be there to remind and prompt your bridal party with the duties they have so they don't have to stress and worry about not remembering all they have to do!  Its so common as a planner to see Ushers and the bridal party get nervous and excited before the ceremony and forget where they are meant to be and when and all the little details they were asked to remember at the rehearsal!  Don't worry - planners will be there taking notes and will point those things out where important on the day!  

 - You may be thinking that if you are having a civil ceremony that you have not been offered a rehearsal and we do find this a lot because Registrars do not traditionally offer a rehearsal service which is a real shame.  However, some civil ceremony venues will still offer a rehearsal without the Registrar being present and it gives you an opportunity to have a run through even though a civil ceremony is shorter and not so full or formalities.  Even still, its just as important to make yourselves familiar and comfortable so do ask your wedding venue for a civil ceremony if its possible.  We find that if your wedding is a Saturday then a Friday evening rehearsal works best as a lot of your guests if not local will have travelled to stay the night before the wedding - so maybe a 5pm or 6pm rehearsal and then the bride and groom can part and be traditional and spend the night apart as they should! 

 - If your civil ceremony venue does not offer a rehearsal then here's a few tips for you.  You may not be told that the bride and groom will need to be seen separately by the Registrar before the ceremony to confirm identity, address etc.  Also, did you know that in this area the Registrar will usually ask the groom to pay, in cash for a copy of the marriage certificate before the ceremony.  The fee is normally £3.50 and why that cannot be paid in advance when you pay for your Notices of Marriage and the Registrar's fees I don't know but have some cash handy on the day!  When the bride arrives at the ceremony make sure that groom is well hidden as the Registrar will also wish to check identity with the bride before the ceremony begins so have somewhere where this can be conducted away from the guests and the groom. 

 - Its also a good opportunity to make sure that all the important people know where they are going for the wedding ceremony if they have not been there before!  If they come along to the rehearsal it gives them less opportunity to get lost on the day! 

 - It is a really good chance for your photographer and videographer to get familiar with the ceremony venue as well - particularly if they have not shot or filmed in that location before.  As a planner I will always ask the photographer and videographer to attend the rehearsal - its not always possible again because of distance and other prior commitments but I do always like them be present.  They get to check out the light and space and liaise with the person conducting the ceremony to see where they will be permitted to be during the ceremony.  Every Registrar and Vicar/Priest is different and will have different rules and likes and dislikes about where they will permit the videographer and photographer to stand during the ceremony and if they will permit film and photographs at all during the ceremony so its best to get that agreed before the day itself so that there is not so much of a rush on the day.  The Church may also ask your videographer for the special Licence they should provide to be able to video the service and again its best to do that before the day of the wedding itself.  Check with your photographer and videographer before you book if they will attend your rehearsal

 - If you are having a ceremony conducted by a civil celebrant such as Diana Saxby from Grace the Day   then Diana will always arrange a rehearsal for your ceremony wherever its possible to do so.  This is another great way to enhance  your wedding day so consider having the legal ceremony perhaps the day before which can literally be just the bride, groom and witnesses in jeans at the Register Office and then a beautiful and bespoke ceremony written just for you with a full rehearsal whenever you like before the day itself to make you feel entirely comfortable. 

Finally - if you are having your rehearsal perhaps the evening before the wedding day itself or maybe a few days before - what about doing things the American way and having a rehearsal dinner afterwards - what a lovely way to bring the families together prior to the wedding.  Arrange a nice meal for all of the close family and bridal party and have a chance to all get excited together.  

xx

All that glitz and glamour - of the Sunflower Ball

OK so its taken us a few weeks more than it should to report on this event but we are thrilled to at last get a few minutes to write an article for our blog on this event.  Even the appalling weather and lots of other challenges could not stop these wonderful guests having a the most amazing time a few weeks ago at the Sunflower Ball at the RNLI College, Poole. We were very pleased to be asked to come on board under our sister company brand of Simply Events, which specialises in corporate and private event planning, to help with the organising and co-ordination of this event which was hosted by Jacqui Frampton of WIBN South & South West  in aid of Lewis Manning Hospice based in Poole, Dorset.

We worked for a few months on this with a team of committed people who were confident from the outset that we would be able, even during these tough economic times, to get the lovely ladies of WIBN and their contacts, friends and family on board to support this cause and buy all of the tickets to make it a fantastic event.  And that they did!  In fact, we could have sold more tickets - we just didn't have the room!  There was a lot of love and support for the event and the committee who worked on this event worked tirelessly to get sponsorship behind the event and get support with some great auction and raffle prizes to make sure that the evening went with a real swing! 

The very kind sponsors for the event were Float The Boat, creative marketing and design, Simply Eloquent Mortgages, Tops Day Nurseries and Acquit Debt Recovery

One of the sponsors from the event - Emma Burt from Simply Eloquent

When we first looked at waterside venues in Poole and Bournemouth who could host this for up to 150 people we have to say its not easy and with Lewis Manning Hospice being a Poole based charity it was felt that a Poole based venue was needed so RNLI College ticked all the boxes.

We transformed the room from a fairly blank palette with black chair covers and bright yellow organza sashes topped off with miniature sunflowers on the back of each chair to run along with the theme.  The table centres were striking fresh sunflower arrangements and it was great to see that so many of the guests added sunflowers to their outfits in one way or another - lapel or wrist corsages or sunflowers in their hair! 

Girls looking very glam! 

Guests were treated to a delicious three course summer menu following which Max our MC and auctioneer got straight into the business of auctioning off some amazing prizes including a golf day with a pro golfer and some rather fetching ladies handbags and accessories!

Max in action on the auction 

Maria from Lewis Manning "doing her bit" with the auction items - well done Maria! 

Also featuring another sponsor Diane Banten from Acquit Debt Recovery 

Following the auction we had a quick and swiftly organised raffle which went down well so that guests could move on to the most important part of the evening - the entertainment and the DANCING!  Get your dancing shoes on guys and girls! 

We were very lucky to have secured the most amazing swing band Swing Unlimited comprising of 18 very talented musicians and what a night of music we had - well done everyone - you had all of our guests up dancing so much so that they did not want the night to end! 

Do you think they might be having some fun? 

The night would not be complete without some casino fun which came courtesy of our friends at Absolute Fun Casino who did a brilliant job of getting all of the guests into the mood to win the great prizes on offer and raise more money for the charity - guests purchased fun money to join in on the casino.  

So, you could say that a great night was had by all and over £3,000 was raised for Lewis Manning Hospice and the guests really did not want to go home!  Some guests stayed over for the night at the RNLI College and their night went on till...well the small hours you could say and then a breakfast was enjoyed in the morning to chat over the events of the night before.  We have already had requests for another BIGGER and better event soon so watch this space!

A HUGE thank you goes to all who sponsored and took part in some way and came along to support the event and helped to make it not only such a success and raise so much money but make it so much fun!  Thank you also to those lovely people over at Seeker who kindly covered the event for us and took these fabulous images and gave us permission to use them in this blog.  Please contact Seeker if you wish to purchase any of the images here or any other which they feature on their site from this event. 

Simply Events 

Real Wedding Feature - Kate and Ben - Magical Fairytale Marquee Wedding

Having just received the images from the wedding of Kate and Ben I was thrilled to see that the photographer  Sally Adams, freelance photographer has captured the fun of the couple and their family and friends perfectly.  This day was one which Kate had planned for so well and had been so involved in the creative side of the wedding.  Such a talented and beautiful bride, Kate had gone to such detail in making and creating so many of the decorations which adorned the tables in her marquee - right down to printing hundreds of miniature photographs of family and friends which were then hung with ribbons on the trees which she made as the table centres for the marquee. 

Kate getting ready for her wedding day and looking beautiful 

We were asked to come on board as Kate could see that bringing together her months and months of hard work would need someone else on hand on the day to ensure that she could enjoy the build up of the day and the day itself and there is a lot to think about and do for a marquee wedding.  We worked closely alongside Kate to make sure that the marquee ended up looking how she wanted it to look.  The marquee was built to such high standards by the team at Pole to Pole Marquees and Jason one of the owners of the business ensures that he is on site all day for his marquees and all evening to oversee the power situation - what a godsend with a marquee wedding running on a generator! 

Kate wanted the marquee and the day to have a magical, fairytale feel about it and it was full of decorations with that theme - fairies and goblins and pretty decorations in shades of purple. 

A view of the marquee from the top table 

The napkin table settings with pretty jewelled bracelets and garden leaves for decoration all within Kate's theme 

The bride arrived at the Church in a fun and funky Cadillac - this wedding was full of unique twists and turns which helped to bring out the personalities of the bride and groom and it was great to see a couple being brave and bold in their choices and not following the norm!  

Here comes the bride!

The bridesmaids looking amazing in deep purple greeting the bride as she arrives for the ceremony - simple posies of lillies for their bouquets 

The happy couple in the Church during the service 

Lovely image of the bride and groom after the service - grabbing some time for some personal shots before heading back to the Marquee to greet their guests 

The confetti shot at the gate of the Church 

Back at the marquee, the guests were treated to a drinks reception of rum cocktails and canapes on the lawn whilst waiting for their bride and groom to arrive.  The inside of the marquee had been kept a complete secret from the guests with the window walls draped from the inside so that guests could not see in!  Inside the marquee we had a reception area where the guests were received on a receiving line but the main section of the marquee was still sectioned off with drapes so that Kate got to do a complete "reveal" of all her hard work so that her guests all saw the finished look at the same time as her - it was a really great moment! 

One of the younger guests enjoying the outside before going into the marquee for the wedding breakfast

The most obvious thing about this wedding was how much fun all the guests were and how much fun they had!  This is really reflected in the photographs and captured so brilliantly.  Guests had an amazing time all day and all night! 

Go girls!  Girls just want to have fun! 

The groom making a really heart felt speech - had a few tears with the guests going thats for sure!

The guests were treated to a relaxed family style wedding breakfast of salmon and meats and delicious salads followed by the most sumptuous desserts which had been made by the groom's Mum and they all looked amazing!  Yes we did have some rain on this day as you can see from the back of the marquee in this shot but it really did not dampen the spirits of this wedding - the guests were having such a great time!  A few of our appropriately coloured wedding umbrellas just made it all the more fun for guests when dashing for the loo or having piccies outside on the lawn!  The rain didn't hang around for long and this left time for outdoor activities for the guests after the meal - especially the bride and groom! 

I LOVE this shot!  Well done to Kate and Ben for getting up there and having so much fun! 

It was a real pleasure being involved in this wedding day and helping it to go with such a swing!  Kate is so talented with her design of the day and her creative skills that I may be offering her a job in the not too distant future if she would like one!  The guests were all such a pleasure to deal with.  

There is a lovely video highlights about this day which was filmed by Ollie of  7876 Films which you can access via this link http://www.7876films.blogspot.com so do take a look as its beautiful and just adds to these lovely images. 

Many congratulations Katie and Ben and lots of love for the future 

x